My Heart Calls For You
by BAutifulDream
Summary: After the events of Chasing Demons Luc's life continues to spiral out of control, but is a broken heart all he's left with and will Sacha be able to persuade a certain fiesty woman to return before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

My Heart Calls For You

Chapter One

"This cannot be happening!" grunts Michael as he comes crashing through the doors of AAU and into chaos, almost tripping over a nurse picking up an upturned trolley. "Can nothing run smoothly without my presence? Ah, Sacha, what happened?"

The happy go lucky, cheerful, big cuddly teddy bear Sacha is anything but. Instead he's as white as a sheet, shaking and has fear swelling his pupils. The only other time he has looked so distraught was when he was stabbed.

"A patient lost it then lashed out. The knife came out of nowhere, caught him right in the abdomen and then the top of his thigh. It's not good Michael; he's losing a lot of blood. We need to get him into theatre ASAP. It looks like the femoral artery," Sacha breathes out in one breath, voice trembling with every other word.

As Michael rounds the corner he sees the unconscious man lying in a pool of his own blood, Chrissie and another nurse knelt at his side trying to stem the bleed. The sticky substance has soaked into his murky brown shirt and denim jeans surrounding the entry wounds, the red liquid continuously oozing out of his body and creating a new pattern on the laminate flooring.

"Don't fear Michael's here. How long has he been bleeding like this?" Michael says while coming to their aid.

"Two, three minutes," Chrissie replies. "And it hasn't eased up at all. We are going to lose him Michael; he's already lost a lot of blood. I can't see…"

"There's no thing as 'can't' Mrs Levy, didn't your mother ever tell you that? Right, Sacha, you two, we need to get him on that trolley and into theatre." No one moves. "Now!"

That works.

Nurses scuttle about back and forth, practically bumping in to each in a hurry to save the man's life, which is diminishing by the second.

"You will not die on me man," Michael rants to himself as he and Sacha hurtle into the operating theatre, adrenaline pumping through their veins. "Not on my watch, not now. You may have disappeared once, but you can't disappear for good. You're needed here Luc."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"How is he?" Chrissie asks as Sacha and Michael come out of theatre, followed swiftly by two nurses and an unconscious and very pale Luc, oxygen mask and wires covering every inch of his body. The intellectual, nomadic and comical man has been reduced to nothing more than an immobile shell of himself clinging on to life.

"We've done our best," replies Michael, "but the next couple of hours are going to be crucial. I'm afraid it doesn't look promising; he's lost way too much blood. We'll keep a very close eye on him. I'm needed up on Keller but call me if his situation changes in anyway."

With that Michael sweeps off in the other direction and out of the ward leaving Sacha to take over.

"Where's Michael gone?" though still fearful Sacha has now gained a bit of colour to his cheeks.

"Keller. So how did the operation go?"

"We managed to seal the tear in the femoral artery stopping further damage and thankfully the knife didn't puncture any vital organs around abdomen area, but it doesn't look good for the poor fella. If he's strong enough there's a chance he can pull through, but I won't be holding my breath. I think we are looking at worst case scenario here."

"Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Pray."

"Sacha, come on, there must be something we haven't thought of. What about family? Friends? Is there anyone we should call?"

"Chrissie, this is Luc we are talking about. He's been here nearly a year and still we barely know anything about the man. We don't even know if he has any family. He's hardly in one place long enough to form any ties."

Just as Chrissie is running out of options something springs to mind.

"There is one person who could help."

"Who…no Chrissie, we can't. We don't know where she is for a start or what state of mind she's in. And who's to say she would come back anyway? She said she wouldn't ever come back here for a reason Chrissie and that reason is lying in that bed over there on death's door."

"Oh Sacha, can't you see, that's exactly the one reason why she would come back. If she knew that now may be the last chance she has of seeing Luc again, she'll come."

"I'm not so sure…"

"When you were lying in a hospital bed all those months back, faring not much better than Luc now, do you know what was running through my head at the time? I was thinking 'if he dies today, I'm glad I got the chance to spend one last moment with him' even though it was to see you covered in wires and barely breathing. It's the last moments that mean everything. If you had died and I wasn't there, well…everyone needs closure and right now they need theirs."

"But what happens if we can't find her or she doesn't come, or worse still, she comes but seeing Luc like that destroys her further and she ends up in a worse state than before?"

"Sacha. Either way she has a right to know, what she does with that information is her choice and one she'll have to live with, but it's the only option I see if Luc stands any chance of coming through this."

"You're right," a slight smile makes an appearance on his face. "You're right."

"The question is where to start; time is of the essence as it is."

Sacha rubs his chin in thought, gazing off into the distance as his mind wanders. Then ever so slowly the biggest grin spreads from cheek to cheek.

"I've got an idea. It may not work, but it's the only option I see. We need Luc's phone though. Come on Mrs Levy, it's time to bring Eddi Mckee back home."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Once Sacha and Chrissie found Luc's phone they left the ward, leaving a nurse to watch over Luc and to bleep them if anything were to happen, while they made their way outside to the back of the hospital where they wouldn't be disturbed.

"It's ringing," Sacha tells Chrissie.

On the fifth ring someone picks up.

"What's your problem Luc? This is the third time you've rung me…"

"Liam, this isn't Luc."

"What? Who's this then and what are you doing with Luc's phone?"

"It's Sacha Levy from Holby City. Listen, I need to know where Eddi is…"

"Ha, you've got to be kidding mate! Why do you think I'll tell you where she is when it was that place that got her into the mess in the first place?"

"This is important Liam, we need to know…"

"Luc had his chance now tell him to leave her alone. He can't see her again. None of you can," then the phone goes dead.

"He hung up," he says staring at the phone gobsmacked.

"You did say it would be a long shot," Chrissie tries to comfort him, hand gently stroking his shoulder in reassurance. "I guess we'll just have to hope he pulls through and…"

"No, I'm not having this. I didn't give up when I almost lost you and Daniel on that flight and I'm not giving up now. Luc needs Eddi and I won't give up without a fight."

So Sacha angrily dials Liam's number again and this time he picks up straight away.

"For crying out loud, can't you guys get the message? She wants to be…"

"Luc's dying Liam; we need to know where Eddi is!" Sacha practically screams down the phone, very unlike him, but desperate times calls for desperate measures and all that. His tone even makes Chrissie start.

"…You what?"

"I said he's dying. He's been stabbed. We managed to stop the bleed but I think the damage has already been done. We're not sure if he'll make it."

Nothing.

Just static silence fills the phone line.

Sacha frowns.

Chrissie looks on bemused.

"Liam? You still there?"

"Yeah…yeah I'm still here. Dying?"

"Yes, that's why we need to talk to Eddi."

"I don't think she's strong enough…"

"Liam, she needs to know, preferably before it's too late. They were an important part of each other's lives, that's got to mean something."

"And Luc was the one who drove her towards the drugs…"

"I know that, but come on Liam! She may not get another chance to see him again. And what about all the things he's done to help you? He helped you with your YRO didn't he? Persuaded your sister to allow you to stay? Deep down you know what's the right thing to do. Please, tell me where I can find Eddi."

After a few seconds pause Liam finally comes to a decision and conveys the information required.

"Thank you, thank you Liam," and the call ends.

"So? What did he say?" Chrissie asks eagerly.

Sacha's eyes light up like a child's at Christmas. The teddy bear returns.

"Eddi's got herself a new job and thankfully it's not too far away from here and I know exactly where it is."

"So? Come on Sacha, where is it?"

"Holby Care Home. It appears she can't tear herself away from Holby after all."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Sacha left Chrissie to go back to the ward while he made his way over to the care home which is no more than a five to ten minute walk away.

It's amazing that no matter how much you try to run away you'll always come back to the place you know you belong.

Eddi may have wanted to leave everything behind the day she left, leave Holby, her friends, Luc, but an unconscious part of her obviously wanted different - Holby City runs through her veins as much as blood and oxygen. She thrives on the never ending stream of activity in AAU. Her body craves for that rush of excitement. It was never a matter of 'if' she comes back but more to do with 'when'. Only life seems to have taken matters into its own hands and she is needed now.

Rounding the corner and over the other side of the road stands Holby Care Home in all its glory, a complete opposite to the towering grey blocks of Holby City Hospital. The home is set in a Georgian building with white washed walls, beautiful kept front garden with a small water feature in the middle. It's a place of peaceful tranquillity where the elderly can be cared for in their last remaining years, while enjoying an upbeat social life in the safety of their surroundings. They even get a variety of days out accompanied by dedicated nurses, all to help stimulate the brain and allow them to embrace what life has on offer.

Cautiously Sacha walks into the building, rather amazed to find Eddi working in such a place. This is not Eddi, not her at all. She's all no nonsense attitude with fire in her belly, ready for the unexpected at the drop of a hat. She loves the chaotic lifestyle and this is anything but. Everything here is done at a slow and steady pace. The nearest you'd get to an emergency on a day to day to basis is leakage of bladder control.

"May I help you Sir?" a petite, plump middle aged woman with kind features, dressed in a white nurse's uniform steps out from a room to the side.

"Oh, hi, yes. I was wondering whether you have a woman working here called Eddi Mckee?"

The woman looks Sacha up and down sceptically, what with him still in his work clothes, but continues to wear a smile.

"And what may your name be Sir?"

"My name's Sacha Levy and I am a General Surgeon Registrar at Holby City Hospital. I need to see Eddi as soon as possible please, it's urgent."

"I'm afraid I can't let anyone in without an appointment or ID, for security reasons."

"But I have my ID…" however, as he goes to grab it from its usual place his fingers touch thin air. "Damn. It must have come off in the rush."

"I'm afraid if you don't have an appointment or ID I won't be able to let you in. Why don't you try calling her?"

"That's the thing, I can't do that, she won't answer."

"This is all sounding rather ominous Mr Levy. No ID, no appointment and the person you're after won't pick up her phone…"

"I know, I know," he sighs, "but it's rather a long story, one I really don't have time to go in to. Can't you just go and find her and bring her here…"

"I can't leave my post Sir, especially now you're here. You may try and sneak in while my back is turned…"

"Oh for crying out loud!"

"I think you should better watch your tone Sir."

"Look. My name is Mr Sacha Levy, I work at Holby City Hospital, and I am urgently trying to get in touch with Eddi Mckee, who I believe works here, because the man she left behind is currently dying in a hospital bed."

_CLASH!_

The sound of metal hitting wooden floor echoes about the hallway disrupting the uncomfortable conversation.

"Dying?" a familiar woman's voice squeaks.

Slowly turning his blue eyes away from the disgruntled nurse in front of him, they drift over to a rather chalky faced woman, slack jaw and dressed in a typical style dark blue nurse's outfit, topped off with black tights and black plimsoll shoes.

Her hair is brown with blonder highlights towards the front all neatly clipped back in place, the loose tendrils curled around her ears. Hazelnut irises that used to be consumed with fire are no more than a simmering flame. Standing there is only half the person Sacha used to know. The question is will he ever see the other half again?

"Eddi!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

After evidence that Sacha was _not_ in fact an imposter, the nurse allowed him and Eddi time alone in the family grievance room, the only room in the building that is always left unoccupied and undisturbed.

Eddi quietly closes the door behind her then makes her way delicately over to sit on the sofa, every little movement so fragile, as if she were to act sharply she'd break. This was not like Eddi at all. When did she ever do anything delicately?

"So," Sacha cautiously starts, hands patting his legs. "You look well."

"Thanks," she replies without taking her eyes from the floor. "I feel well."

_She has changed. I don't like it._ "How long have you been working here?"

"Just over a month now."

"You enjoy it?"

"It's nice. You get to know everyone here."

"What made you decide to work in a care home?"

"It's a change." She pauses. She frowns and ever so slightly a small smile lifts one corner of her mouth. Blink and you'd miss it. "Vincent Mancini - the last man standing. Not a bad guy once you got past his grumpiness. 'I'd like to think Old Nick would just come knocking one day, but he won't. It'll be a long, slow, slippery slope' he said to me. He even asked me to stay with him. He's the one that opened my eyes to other possibilities to help people. One where I could actually make a difference, give people back hope when they think they have nothing left to live for."

"So did you take him up on the offer?" Sacha says now sitting in a chair opposite.

"Sorry?" Eddi looks at him for the first time since entering the room.

"Did you go to Mr Mancini?"

Her eyes immediately drop back to the floor, face crestfallen.

"Unfortunately he passed away a few weeks after he came out of hospital, heart attack in his sleep. Ironic really. The man who fought with everything he had died without a fight. I wish I could have helped him, been there for him."

"There is one man you can be there for." No reaction but slight marring of the eyebrows leaves Sacha no doubt she understands. "Eddi, he needs you now more than ever."

"And where was he when I needed him the most?" she rounds on him in a fit of pure rage, eyes as wide as saucers, catching the table with her leg as she goes. "Ay Sacha? Gallivanting across fields leaving a path of destruction behind for someone else to pick up! And what a hero I had. A pill popping sociopath who instead of leaving a bunch of roses like any sane man would do, I got given addiction! I _really _know how to pick them don't I Sacha?"

"Eddi…"

"Don't say it, is it muffin o'clock?"

That did it. They begin to itch, and then tug, and soon enough he's smiling like a big goofy kid.

"Why are you smiling?"

"For the first time in a long time I can see our Eddi!"

"I don't know what you mean," and she turns away.

"Yes you do. You're only living half a life here. You may like it, but is it really what you want. You're being suffocated. You may not realise it, nor may the staff here, but I saw it the moment I clasped eyes on you, because I know _you_ and there's someone else who knows you rather well too, and he needs you. You need each other."

"I can't go back Sacha. I can't. What Luc and I had was special, it was something people only ever dream of having, but it was also toxic. I'll repeat what I said to him. If you thought those pills were bad, Luc's ten times more toxic."

"But he's dying Eddi…"

"I heard you the first time," tears start to form in her eyes. "Just the thought of him lying in that hospital bed, clinging to life is killing me."

A flash back of her and Chrissie talking after Sacha's stabbing enters Eddi's mind. What she said. 'You'd have done the same if the situations had been reversed.' Where her eyes roamed. And it _has_ happened, the situations _have_ been reversed and yet she remains here sitting on a slightly hard sofa refusing to return for the sake of what? Bad memories? Too many memories?

"I-I'm sorry Sacha. I-I can't go back."

Eddi's eyes squeeze shut but that doesn't stop the water flowing freely down her cheek. The pain is there and it's something that will never go away. Not now.

"And here's me thinking you loved him," and without another word Sacha walks off out of the room and around the corner out of sight, leaving empty handed.

However, if he had stayed a few seconds more or turned around or if she had whispered a little louder, then Sacha may have caught the two most important words to fall from her lips. Two words that could make or break Luc. Two words that meant everything in that moment.

"I do."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"So? How did it go?" Chrissie pounces on Sacha immediately as he steps through the doors and back onto AAU, like she was lying in wait, eyes trying to peer behind him.

"She's not coming."

"What do you mean she's not coming?"

"Exactly that. She says she can't come. I saw it in her eyes the day she left, why would I think now would be any different."

"Because the man she loves is lying dying over there…"

"Just stop it Chrissie," he snaps. "She's not coming and that's that."

"Maybe if I…"

"You and Eddi barely saw eye to eye when she was here, what makes you think she'll listen to you now?"

"There's no need to be like that Sacha."

He sighs, shoulders slump and all the energy simply washes out of him as the inevitable finally dawns brightly.

"I'm sorry Chrissie," he envelopes her in a hug. "I'm just worried about Luc."

"We all are."

"I can't see him pulling through. I'm scared we are going to lose him."

"I know, I know, but who knows, there may be a miracle just around the corner."

"It's got to be a pretty big miracle; Luc's going to need all the help he can get."

...

A lonely figure stands at the end of the driveway. They feel out of place, they shouldn't be here. Everything inside their head is screaming for them to simply turn and walk away, to go back to the new life. _You did it before what's stopping you from doing it again?_

But then the eyes spot it, the white rectangle block on wheels. _That's why_ the heart sings. Just looking at the object makes the muscular organ skip a beat. How can something so insignificant come to resemble the most important thing?

_You can't go back now_ the voice whispers. _For once in your life throw caution to the wind and follow your heart_. And on their own accord the feet listen, the body begins to move forward. The memories come flooding back. Each step is accompanied by a flashback to times thought forgotten.

"_I'm on top of the world!"_

Step.

"_What are you so afraid of Luc?"_

"_Afraid?"_

"_I really want to know!"_

"_False teeth."_

"_Because it might help me understand why you are such an uptight, arrogant arse!"_

Step.

"_If you're squeamish I could always distract you."_

"_Oh God, you're not gonna…"_

Step.

"_I need."_

"_So do I."_

Step.

"_I don't know how to do this."_

Step.

"_Are you expecting anybody?"_

"_Yeah I thought it was time you met my folks."_

Step.

"_What's life without a few risks?"_

Step.

_Campervan gone. Live Every Day by Corey Eagles. Alone._

Step.

"_I can't stay. I have to do this properly."_

"_Sure, sure."_

"_Away from here."_

"_Okay."_

"_Away from us. You can't fix this for me."_

Step.

"_Please stay, Eddi stay."_

"_No, no, I will hurt you like I've hurt Liam and like my mum's hurt me over and over and over again."_

"_Okay, okay, then you go and and then you come back. Yeah?"_

Step.

"_I've got to go. Thank you. Thank you."_

It's amazing how so much can happen in a short space of time. One minute you think you have your whole life planned out ahead of you, you know where it's heading, then one day you take a wrong turning somewhere along the way and you end up on a completely different road to the one you started out on. However, no matter how many times you head in the opposite direction you always manage to find your way back…eventually.

And that's exactly the story behind this lonely person. She's tried to run away so many times, but there comes a time you should stop. Stop running away from your demons and instead face up to the consequences and to embrace your fears. It's time for her to live the next stage of her life, not run from it. She's sick and tired of living only half a life.

Eddi needs her Luc.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"How's he doing Sacha? Any progress?" In struts Michael Spence, always manages to fill the room with his presence.

"I'm afraid not. He seems to be deteriorating every fifteen minutes. His BP's dropped considerably since operation. I don't know what else to do."

"Keep pushing the fluids. I don't think there is a lot more we can do at this moment."

They make their way over to Luc's bed.

He's turned almost grey now in skin colour. The vibrant man that was is no more. Life seems to be dripping away bit by bit. It's like he is giving up on life itself. Maybe he thinks he has nothing left to live for.

Life is a strange and complex thing filled with many twists and turns. Some lives end before they begin, while others can live for many, many years. But it's the choices you make that define your existence. Only you can choose which road to take but you can't control where it will lead. That's something you can only discover along the way.

"Any luck in finding Eddi?"

Sacha's eyes dart up to Michael in confusion.

"Chrissie told me where you went."

"Oh right. Yeah I found her, she's working at Holby Care Home, but she won't be coming back."

"Did you tell her about Luc?"

"Of course I did, but she doesn't want anything to do with this place. She cut her ties the day she walked away from Holby it seems."

"Luc sure can do with her right now."

…

The familiar scent of disinfectant and vomit hits her nasal passage as soon as she enters the recognisable blue corridor. The distinctive hustle bustle from AAU echoes about these walls as people rush to and from wards.

Each step is torture and any moment she wishes to flee, but some magnetic force is dragging her towards the place she knows well.

A couple of nurses pass by and nod in greeting, but she carries on regardless. Nothing can stop her now. She's determined and once her mind is set there is no going back. She wants this but is fearful of the outcome, fearful of what she may see. She knows that once she steps through those doors there will be no going back. This place sucks you in.

…..

"Chrissie, I think we can discharge bed three," informs Michael, "we are just waiting on her bloods. Bed six just needs last checks then he can go and the man in bed eight should have gone ages ago, but is complaining of a bad back just to escape his angered wife waiting for him at home. I've run some more tests just to be on the safe side, but there's nothing, so if you could…"

_Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep._

"Michael, he's gone into VF!" shouts Sacha, the hospital almost comes to a standstill.

"Oh this is just great." Michael immediately starts chest compressions on the patient. "Come on Luc, you can't give up now."

"Michael," Sacha wheels in the defibrillator.

"Charge 3 60, stand back. Clear. Okay, we got him back but his pulse is weak; we need to get him back into theatre now!"

…

Stepping through the doors and into AAU is like a breath of fresh air and her shackles have been taken away. The energetic charge is back running through her veins. This is where she belongs. Eddi has finally come home.

However, this is not the AAU she is used to. Yes it's still hectic and yes doctors and nurses are still rushed off their feet, but there's something empty about the place, something Eddi can't explain. It's as if it is missing a vital component that makes the cogs work in harmony.

And then she spots a familiar face darting over to the desk.

"Chrissie," she says taking a step further into the hub.

"Eddi!"

Hazel eyes dart back and forth around the ward desperately searching for the man who has captured her heart.

"Wh-where is he?"

But the look on Chrissie's face is the last thing she expected, so much pain shining in her eyes. "I'm so sorry…"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please don't say I'm too late."

Bile rises in the back of Eddi's throat; her stomach turns over and over. Her hands begin to tremble.

"Chrissie can you…Eddi!" Michael Spence comes crashing through the theatre doors, scrubs covered in blood, but pauses when he spots the new, well old, comer.

"Luc?" Eddi quivers.

But words are not needed, the answer is written across his face.

Numbness. That's all she can feel. In that split second Eddi's life crumbles down around her…again, and she can no longer control her body as her knees buckle and she tumbles to the floor in a heap.

_Oh God Luc!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

It's gone midnight and AAU ward is rather quiet. All you can hear is the steady hum of monitors and the gentle breathing of patients finally getting a moments rest while sleeping. You would never believe it to be the same place.

Chrissie has gone home to look after Daniel while Sacha remains on nightshift. Michael too has gone home, his kids came back from America early, a fantastic surprise after the hellish day he had. A couple of other nurses and a doctor also remain on the ward.

But they aren't the only ones who remain. By some miracle Luc lives to see another day. It was touch and go for a while, but by using all the skills they have Sacha and Michael managed to pull him through. Now they have moved him into a private room where he still remains in a critical condition, however things are starting to be taking a turn for the better, especially with the love of a good woman by his side.

Since Luc came out of the operating theatre Eddi has never left his side and now she sits there in the dark, the only light coming from the bedside lamp, holding onto his limp but warm hand. Gently her thumb caresses his skin. The touch is like giving a dehydrated person water after days trekking across the desert. She knew she couldn't banish him from her heart altogether and this only goes to prove it.

The stillness of the room becomes too much for Eddi and she finally gives way to speech.

"Hi Luc, its Eddi here, bet you never thought you'd hear my voice again. Quite a shock at seeing you too, though I have to say you've looked better," a brief smile flitters across her face. "A bit drastic though isn't it, getting yourself stabbed just so I would come running. You could have just called," a mellow chuckle accompanies the smile this time, but the light atmosphere soon drops as darker thoughts start to cloud her mind.

"When Michael came through them doors covered from head to toe in your blood I thought I'd lost you, I thought I was too late. And when he told me you were still alive, well, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. In the end I did both. I must have looked a right state; goodness knows what the patients thought.

"I didn't want to come back you know, everything inside me was screaming not to, but then something you said crept into my head. 'What's life without a few risks?' Do you remember that day up on the roof? I thought that crazy woman was going to pull you over the edge. I've never been so scared in my life, until today that is.

"What is it about you Luc that makes you so different? You annoy the hell out of me, you mess with my mind so much so I can't tell what's right or wrong anymore and you always seem to bring the worst out in me. Then again it could be argued that you bring out the best in me too. After all we worked well as a team. We connected on a level I never experienced before.

"You once told me I had a way of getting under your skin. I have to admit you have the same effect on me. I tried to ignore you, carry on as if nothing had happened, I even tried dating again, but you were always there at the back of my mind, haunting me. Those brown eyes of yours would always be there. I had no escape.

"In rehab it was worse still. The day I left you I thought would be the day I moved on from my past, from you, but I was only deluding myself. The daytime I was fine, I had other things to occupy my mind, but when the night fell and I was tucked up in bed all I could think about was you. You plagued my mind. Every moment we shared, every word we spoke, the times I thought you would never come back. It was all there and it kept on replaying over and over and over. I was right the first time. What we had was toxic there's no denying that.

"The thing is…you do know I won't be able to stay here forever, with you, I need to be on my own for a while, find my feet again, find myself, but I can't do that if I remain here with you. But at the same time I can't simply walk away, not while you're in this state. I wouldn't be able to cope knowing I upped and left without speaking to you, without making sure you'll recover.

"But when I do leave I want you to know it's not because I don't care about you, it's because I care too much. I need to let you go, I'm not what you need right now, but I promise that one day I will find my way back. My heart won't let go of you that easily. It will always be calling."

A cough from behind startles Eddi from her hypnotic state and she spins around in her seat to face the intruder. Sacha.

"Sorry," he casually walks into the room. "So how's he doing?"

Her eyes return to the silent man. "The same really. I guess that's a good sign."

"It's better than before." The silent cloud looms over them until, "did you mean that?"

She peers up at him, frown in place. "Mean what?"

"That you're going to leave?"

She sighs, turning her head away and closing her eyes.

"I can't stay here Sacha…"

"But he needs you."

"I'm the last thing Luc needs right now."

"You can't be any more wrong. When you left you destroyed him. I've never seen him so broken before. He was like a robot, did everything out of habit. He would turn up for work, do his shift then disappear as soon as it was over. I've hardly had a decent chat with him. He's closed up and is keeping everyone at arm's length. He needs you Eddi. And I think you need him too."

"Sacha…"

"At least stay until he's recovered, help with his recovery in fact. He's going to need a lot of TLC and who better to give it to him than…"

"Okay, okay Sacha," and for the first time a genuine, warm smile lights up her face, "enough already."

"So does this mean you'll stay?" his eyes hopeful.

"I'll stay, _but_ only until he is fully recovered and able to take care of himself then I'm gone and you have to promise me you'll let me go. I need to do this alone. Do you promise?" she looks him squarely in the eyes.

"I promise," then he leans down and gives her one of his famous Sacha hugs. "Thank you."

"Hmmm."

"I better go and check on the patients," and with that Sacha leaves her to it.

After closing the door behind him a broad smile breaks free. "I'll stick to my promise Eddi," he whispers to himself, "but I'm pretty sure you won't be going anywhere, not if Luc has anything to say about it."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"So what was it like?"

"Rehab? Tough at first but after a while I kind of got used to it, if you can ever get used to such a place."

Sacha and Eddi have taken a break away from AAU and Luc and relocated themselves in Pulses, a café at the entrance of the hospital.

"Was it worse than being kidnapped by Luc?" Sacha smiles.

"Oh no," she chuckles, "Being kidnapped by Luc was ten times worse. I had to put up with his endless words of wisdom after all."

"That's true; I never understand half of what he says most of the time."

"I learnt to nod your head at the right moments, which generally kept him satisfied."

The light hearted banter has been restored between the two and they embrace it with a mutual chuckle.

"I've missed you you know."

"I've missed you too Sacha."

"It's not been the same around here. There's been a big Eddi-shaped hole that no one can fill except you."

"Don't start Sacha…"

"Why not? You're out of rehab and I know that you're missing this place. Surely you can't be happy at the care home."

"It's a job…"

"But so is working here."

"But what would I do?"

"I hear there's a senior nurse position available on AAU."

"They wouldn't let me work here again let alone go back to my original position, not after everything that's happened."

"No one knows Eddi."

"What do you mean no one knows? Surely Hanssen…"

"Hanssen's left."

"What do you mean Hanssen's left?"

"He disappeared without a trace and hasn't been seen since. Anyway, that's beside the point. The only people who knows about what happened are you, me, Luc, Michael and Chrissie. You know what I think on the matter, Chrissie needs another pair of hands, someone she can rely on, and as for Michael he did say he's got your back. He never did report you."

"And Luc?"

"Luc's been wanting you back since the day you left. He may not say much but it was there in his eyes and the way he acted. He can't function properly without you. I saw the way his eyes would dart across the ward, as if he was looking for something and at other times I'd catch him gazing off into the distance when a patient was trying to talk to him. And when he let his guard down, which was very rare mind you, he'd mention your name in passing. 'Eddi would have spotted that', he'd say, or 'I wish someone would disagree with me, Eddi would have'. So you see Eddi, the only person stopping you from coming back is you."

She looks down at her coffee, the warmth now gone, her mind jumbled with alternative thoughts. She has a decision to make, one that will change her life.

…

Meanwhile on AAU…

"He's waking up!" Michael yells to no one in particular. "Someone page Sacha. Chrissie, can you go and find Eddi please? Oh boy are you going to get the shock of your life. You are one lucky sod Luc, one lucky sod."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

_Beep beep, beep beep_.

Sacha pulls off his beeper clipped to his trousers.

"What is it?" Eddi is immediately on alert.

His face literally lights up as he looks at her. He's barely containing his happiness.

"What is it? What's happened?"

"Luc's awake."

"A-awake? He's awake?" and for a moment she is speechless. "How is he?"

"How should I know? I think it's about time we go and see him don't you?"

With that they both rise from their seats, albeit Eddi more timidly so, and taking hold of her hand they make their way back to AAU, each mind containing different thoughts. Sacha's struck by how this will all be a great shock for Luc, Eddi on the other hand is struggling with the concept of what this will mean for Luc and her future and how the hell is she going to be able to leave him…again.

….

"Okay Luc, nice and easy now," encourages Michael. "Don't want to risk further damage. It was a bugger trying to keep you alive the first time. You don't make life easy for yourself do you?"

"I could say the same about you Michael," Luc croaks. "When have you ever taken the easy route when the complex one is much more rewarding?"

"Touché. I see you haven't lost your sharp wit."

"No, but from my bouts of dizziness and the numbness in my leg, I gather I have lost a rather large quantity of blood."

"That you sure have my friend. At one stage we thought we lost you. If it weren't for a very talented surgeon you wouldn't be speaking to me now."

"Ah, John Hunter's still alive then?"

"On second thoughts maybe I shouldn't have tried so hard," says Michael with that cheeky boy smile of his. Next minute his demeanour turns serious, joking aside as his professionalism kicks in. "You say you have numbness in your leg?"

"Only a slight tingle, but that's to be expected."

"Nonetheless I'd like to keep an eye on it. Apart from the dizziness and numbness do you feel anything else?"

"Thirsty."

"Seriously Luc."

"I'm feeling seriously thirsty."

Michael sighs in expiration, but knowing Luc the way he does he knows that if there is something seriously wrong with him Luc would be the one to spot it, he's not stupid after all.

"Alright, alright, but if you need anything or have any questions just let me know."

Michael is about to walk off when he is stopped by the patient.

"There is, erm, well one question." He gazes down at his hand before returning his eyes to lock onto Michael's, hope shining in his pupils, the first spark to be seen within months of agony. "Di-did someone come and visit me? Speak to me while I was unconscious?"

Michael raises his eyebrows.

"It's just that at times, when I was semi-conscious, I heard distorted noises, someone's voice. A woman's voice. Di-did she, did she…"

Something catches the corner of Michael's eye as he briefly looks over to his right before focusing back onto the man speaking.

"Why don't you take a look for yourself," Michael hints.

At this Luc frowns and his mouth tightens slightly as he tries to figure out what Michael is trying to tell him. A little eye movement from the man himself and Luc finally looks in the direction.

He can't breathe. The air has literally been taken from him and he starts to question if what he's seeing is true or just an illusion from the pain medication. Walking towards him is the woman that's turned his life upside down from day one. The very same woman he thought he'd never see again. It's also the woman he tried to run from but only ended up running back to.

_It can't be an illusion can it?_ Luc asks himself. _Life wouldn't be so cruel_ and just when he's about to pass it off as trickery of the mind or simply a dream she speaks standing not a foot away from the bed, Michael nowhere in sight.

"Hello Luc," she smiles.

"Eddi," he whispers, finally letting go of the breath he had been holding.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"I see your hair's grown back," Eddi points out, now sitting in a chair by Luc's bed. Michael has left them to it while he sees to other patients.

"Looks like I'm not the only one with longer hair," he struggles to speak, still too weak from the incident. "What's with the clip? You work as a secretary now?"

"Can you really see me as a secretary?"

"Not really, I would have you down as more of a controlling, mildly psychotic nurse."

"I see that your humorous quips are as unfunny as ever."

Gentle laughter fills the room and for a moment it feels like it used to, the banter, the smiles, but the continuous hum of the machine attached to him and his pale features is a constant reminder of how different and serious things have become.

"So where are you working now?"

"Holby Care Home."

Luc chuckles.

"What's wrong with working in a care home?" Eddi snaps a bit, the defence clearly audible in her voice.

"I can't see you working in such an environment. It's slow, steady and not in slightest bit stimulating. That's not you Eddi."

"And you know me do you?" she leaps from her seat, voice raising an octave higher, but not enough to disturb outside the room. "If you know me so well, why do you always seem to make my life so complicated when you know that's the last thing I need right now?"

"It's a knack I have."

"You know something, in all the time I've known you, the one thing I've never understood is your obsession in 'fixing' things. There was the legionnaires, me. Why is this?" Luc turns his head away. "Is it the need to be in control? Is that it? Are you a control freak? Or is it something more? I wish you would talk to me, but there lies the problem. You never talk Luc. Not to anyone. You just keep everything bottled up and sooner or later it will destroy you…just like it destroyed us."

At this Luc's head snaps back round to face her, frown in place. His mouth opens and shuts, as if he is about to say something, but nothing comes out.

"And another thing I don't get…"

"Should I be writing this down?"

"…are your sudden disappearing acts."

"That's pot calling the kettle black."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not the only one who runs," he levels her with a glare of his own, all the pain and anger residing in his eyes.

"I had to go; I didn't want to hurt you…"

"But you did."

"Then you know exactly how I felt the day you walked out of my life. Three months Luc. You were gone for three months without a word!"

"And you went off with Liam with the plan to never come back!" he coughs with the force of his anger. "Why are you here Eddi?" his voice softens, his energy being drained. "What's the point when all I know you are going to do is leave?"

"You're right, I shouldn't have come. It was a stupid mistake on my part. You haven't changed one bit. You're still as annoying and arrogant as ever."

"If I'm that much of an unpleasant company why did you return?"

"What did you expect me to do? Could you honestly think I would carry on with my life knowing the man I love lies dying in a hospital bed?"

The shock on Luc's face would have been considered comical if it weren't for the drips and the greyish tinge to his skin.

"L-love?"

_Oh no!_ Eddi's thoughts run havoc as she realises what she has just revealed. _This is not good. I've said too much_ and before another word can escape her mouth she legs it out of the room and out of the ward away from Luc…again.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

_**Luc's POV**_

She loves me? She actually loves me? No it can't be true, a slip of the tongue maybe. But the look in her eyes when she said it…she meant it. But do I love her?

Oh God, what is she doing with my mind? I thought I managed to banish her from my thoughts but who am I kidding, I never could. Even when she was around and I saw her day in day out, she was never too far from my thoughts. Somehow she has managed to climb over this wall I've carefully built up around myself, then bulldozer it down allowing my heart free to roam. What has that woman done to me?

I'm not one to give anything away about myself, life time of habit and practice made sure of that, but Eddi's chipped away at the outer shell and has managed to do what no other woman, actually, no other person come to that, has done – made me talk. She was willing to push through the tough exterior in order to get to know me, she wanted to understand me. No one has ever wanted to do that, but instead cast me off as too complicated to spend time and patience on. Then again, none of them were as stubborn as her. In that aspect I guess we are very much alike. It's no wonder we keep bashing heads!

There were so many arguments in a short space of time, one always trying to outdo the other. Even when we were in agreement we couldn't help provoking each other. Sparring with her is what kept me alive, kept me coming back for more. I've never experienced an addiction before, not until Eddi stumbled into my life, and I have to admit she's the one thing I never want to be cured from.

But the question is do I actually love her?

When she left I thought that was it for me. The day she left she took a little bit of me with her, but left a lot behind. The one thing that I couldn't get rid of was her voice; it was always there in the back of my mind. With every patient I could imagine her contradicting me or saying I shouldn't have done this or spoken to them like that. She always knew how to calm me down when I didn't, knew the right words to say when I fumbled. Eddi has that extra something that I can't seem to understand but my heart can.

So do I love her?

Of course I love her, I don't think I've stopped and now she's gone…again. Will we ever be able to stop running from each and instead run to each other?

I knew love was blind but I didn't think it would take me having a guide dog to realise that. Sacha can really give some home truths when he wants to. Love can have many faces and it appears I'm discovering some of them.

I hope we can see a way through this.

_**Eddi's POV**_

Oh no, oh no, oh, no, oh no, what have I done? I've admitted that I love him but do I actually love him or was I acting on impulse? Why do I keep doing this? Why do I always mess up the good things in my life?

Admittedly I was doing fine until Luc made an entrance into my life. What great first impressions we made on each other that day. I thought he was suicidal and a bit of a weirdo, though I still think the latter but this time in a more endearing kind of way, if weird can be considered endearing, while he must of thought I was a drunken nurse with a bad attitude problem and carrying a chip on my shoulder. Though he did compliment me on my ward control management, I'll give him that. But over time matters only got more complex.

The more I tried to get close to him the further he pushed me away, then at other times he'd totally baffle me with some remark which left me in a further state of confusion than the one I begun with. His comment about looking for signs for example then he stuck that 'Do not remove from AAU' sticker on me. Then there was that time after Liam left and he took me down to his lab then kissed me, but then I didn't see him for the next three weeks! Now what was that all about? Though have to admit that was one hell of a first kiss, I couldn't stop thinking about it for days. I was later to find out that wasn't all he was good at!

However, even then everything wasn't all hunky dory. When I opened my heart to him and gave him my key I thought we were solid, but oh boy how wrong was I? He fled because it was getting too much for him. Too much! How is he ever going to have a decent relationship if he continues to flee and not give it the chance it deserves? For once in my life something meant more to me than my nursing career. For once in my life I wanted more. But instead of embracing our newly founded connection he decides to trample on it instead and leave me to pick up the pieces and we all know how that ended up! It's what has leaded me to where I am today! He destroyed me!

Since I left I've only been living half a life, my passion has gone out the window in everything I do. Guys have become nothing more than companionship for a short while and I end things before they get serious. My job has become nothing more than something to pass the time and bring in a reasonable income.

When I was with Luc he brought out the best and worst in me, but in either case there was always this fire burning in my stomach, a passion for my job, for him, but he was also poisonous, still is I guess. He left scars on my heart, which still makes me wonder if he has a cold soul, though deep down I know that's the anger speaking out. Luc is just misunderstood and unfortunately I don't think anyone will be able to figure him out, not even himself. When it comes down to it he's his worst enemy.

The day I left I thought it to be the best thing for everyone, but now I'm back, I'm not so sure. I said I wouldn't stay, then Sacha had words with me and now I'm in two minds. Should I stay and help Luc recover then leave, or should I leave now while I still have the chance and determination to?

What would happen if I did stay? I don't think I'd be able to leave him again if we grow close once more which is inevitable really; especially after all we have been through already. But I need to leave him, get back on to my own two feet, alone.

The question is would I be able to watch our relationship being pulled apart all over again?

The painful tug at my heart at the thought indicates no.

But then again, can I leave him to recover on his own?

No.

So what am I to do?

Do I love him? Of course I do, with all my heart. I'd do anything for him, I just can't believe it's taken me for him to almost die to realise this! I can be so stupid sometimes.

I hope we can see a way through this.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"What happened?" asks Sacha after he came to see Luc once Eddi dramatically shot past him and out of the ward in tears.

"I-I don't…I mean I d-don't know," Luc replies while agitatedly rubbing his fingertips together and looking directly ahead.

"What do you mean you don't know? What did you say to her?"

"She-I…"

"What has gotten in to you?"

"She-she l-loves me," he gazes towards Sacha. "She said she loves me."

"That's a good thing right?"

Luc reverts to staring at the white wall ahead again. "I-I don't know."

"You need to talk to her Luc…"

"I do talk…" once more his head snaps back to Sacha.

"No, I mean really talk, let her know how you feel. If you don't pull your head out of the sand you'll end up losing her…again and probably for good next time."

"I-I don't know how."

"Do you love her?"

"I-I…"

"Can you live without her?"

"I-I…"

"I know you are socially inept Luc, but this is ridiculous! How are you going to talk to her if you can't even talk to me how you feel?"

"I'm scared," he says suddenly, eyes looking for guidance, pleading for help.

This statement shocks Sacha. Luc has actually conveyed what he's feeling, it's a break through. He never admits anything like that to him. Things have gotten bad.

And now the flood gates are open Luc can't seem to stop.

"I'm scared Sacha. I have never felt like this for anyone; I don't know what to do. The more I feel the further I push; it's what I've taught myself to do to avoid getting hurt. But now it's not working. Eddi has wormed her way in and I can't get her back out. I can't lose her; I've lost too much already. I don't want to lose another thing I love. Help me Sacha, please."

"Luc saying please, must be serious." He sighs then slowly takes a step closer to the bed. "Listen Luc, the one thing you must do is talk to her. She needs to know where she stands. If you're serious about her then she needs to know how you feel. She must know that you want it to work otherwise she will run again. In that you are alike.

"I know it's a scary prospect, trust me I should know, but if you don't try you'll lose the best thing that's happened for both of you. It's time to stop living in the past and look forward."

"But what if she runs when I tell her?"

"It's the risk you are going to have to take. She came back didn't she? Anyway, you are going to need help with your recovery…"

"I don't need any help."

"Oh for goodness sake Luc, I thought you wanted it a minute ago!"

"I do but in regards to…"

"That's your problem Luc. You only need help when it suits you. You need to let your guard down on occasion otherwise you'll get nowhere. Consider your stabbibg a wakeup call. Take this time to think things through before you end up losing more than just Eddi."

Sacha turns on his heels and almost storms out of the room leaving Luc to contemplate his actions.

Never has the saying 'You don't realise what you have until it's gone,' been more apt. Luc knows he needs to act now before it's too late. After all there is no knowing of what will happen tomorrow. You only get one shot at life you might as well cling on to the things that make it worthwhile.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

_The sunlight is the first thing that hits him as he steps out onto the gravelly ground, the chill breeze the second. The cold wind wraps around him before swirling off and up into the atmosphere. _

_Closing his eyes he takes in the surrounding noises. He hears car horns honking in the distance, an ambulance screeching off out into the street and the occasional dog barking in the suburbs. But they are not what capture his interest. Amongst all this there's a single call crying out. If you didn't listen carefully you'd miss it._

_Turning to his right he sees a lonely baby blackbird chirping away to the world, obviously calling out to his mother wherever she may be. Bright eyes stare quizzically at him, trying to work out whether he presents a threat, friend or foe? He tries reaching out to the little creature, so small compared to the world around it, but this only causes the baby to cry even louder. So instead he backs away, he understands._

_Many times he's been in the same position and learnt to defend himself. He is no stranger to life on his own. At first he feared it, then he dealt with it and now he embraces it. His own company is the only thing he really trusts._

_Letting someone in only causes you pain. You give them everything and they take it, but don't give back and before you know it you're alone, shattered and broken. And now he's learnt to fight back, keep everything to himself. If someone got close he'd go. He didn't want to bring them down with him, didn't want to belong. To him belonging meant being owned and he did not want that, not again. He is meant for the open road, a free spirit to flitter from one place to another without any ties. He lost the last tie years ago._

_He is the type of man people know of not know. Someone they meet in passing and forget as easily as he came. He's like a phantom. One minute he's there and then he is gone, never staying in one place long enough to make an impact, that's exactly the way he liked it._

_However, all this changed one day. He no longer wanted to run to the road to escape. He didn't want to simply be a man passing and only noticed in the background. For the first time he felt a part of something meaningful and didn't want to let go of that feeling, he wanted to hold onto to it as long as possible. He had purpose. For the first time he had a reason to stay. And if it weren't for her he'd be back on the road to somewhere, heading for nothing in particular._

_He looks up and seeing a figure hanging over the edge causes a different kind of chill to set in his bones, every nerve ending on high alert. This was their place; it was where they first met it shouldn't be tainted with a suicide. He needed to stop them. _

"_Don't do it!" he screams and takes a step towards the swamped form._

_The person turns around._

_His heart stills._

_A secret smile creeps onto their face and before he has time to react, the person lets go of the railings and tumbles over the edge. _

"_Eddi!" _

"Eddi!" Luc bolts upright in his bed, sweat pouring from his forehead, hands clammy, heart bashing against his chest and his breathing irregular. The room is covered in darkness; the only light comes streaming in through the window from the moon.

_I can't lose her_ screams his head, _not this time_, _not for good_.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

"Luc! What do you think you are doing?" gasps Sacha as he walks into the room to see Luc trying to struggle into his fresh clothes Chrissie fetched from his caravan earlier.

"I need to, ah, go and find, ah, Eddi."

"Not right now you are not, you can barely stand, don't be so stupid."

"I need…to talk…to her."

"Not now you are not. Come on Luc, get back into bed."

"No…need Eddi…can't lose her…again," he says while trying to put on his shirt, his stitches clearly evident on his increasingly paling lower abdomen.

"You're being ridiculous," he attempts to guide Luc back to bed but only gets shrugged off in the process. "Luc, just stop it."

"I need to…talk to…Ed-ahhhhh," the pain becomes unbearable and all of a sudden his right leg gives way and he collapses to the floor.

"I told you to get back into bed. What happened?"

Being careful of his stitches, Sacha manages to shift Luc back onto the bed with a little bit of help when he stopped struggling.

"It's my leg. I-it gave way. It feels numb, tingling…pain. Ahhh," Luc's hand naturally goes to clutch his leg.

"How long has it been like this?"

"Fifteen minutes maybe, could be twenty."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought it wasn't anything to worry about. Sometimes it's only natural, ahhh…"

"Yeah, I think we have bypassed natural now don't you think."

"You don't say," he growls through his teeth, eyes clenching shut. "It's the femoral nerve, it must be damaged. You need to take me…"

"Luc I do know what I'm doing, I am a doctor after all. Can I have some help in here please?" Two nurses come bustling into the room. "Can one of you also page Michael Spence, he is needed urgently."

"Listen," Luc grabs hold of Sacha's arm forcing him down to his level. "If I don't make it…"

"Luc…"

"No, I mean it. I know the risks. I know what's happening. If I don't make it for god sakes tell Eddi I love her, always have and always will and tell her, mmmm. Tell her I'm sorry. Also, if you do, mmm, manage to save m-me but not my leg, I w-want you to dedicate it to science."

"What would they want with your leg?"

"H-how the hell should I know? If not th-they could always use i-it to kick someone up the ba-backside. Ahhh."

"Okay, enough of the talking we need to get you back into theatre."

"Maybe I sh-should take up res-residence there, saves mo-moving me back a-and forth!"

"Mr Spence will be here in ten minutes," a nurse says as she pokes her head through the door.

"Okay, thank you. Let's get him prepped and into theatre."

…..

Eddi stopped smoking years ago; however at times of deep stress she gives into the weakness and inhales one. So here she stands at the back of the hospital out of the visitors' view, but it's not like anyone would notice her, it's almost pitch black if it weren't for the car park lighting, consuming nicotine and puffing ringlets of smoke into the chilly night air.

After her little altercation with Luc she had to get away. She couldn't risk blurting out something which she would have later regretted. Already she has said too much.

_How am I going to face him now?_ resounds in her head. _I don't belong here anymore_. But still she feels at home here. As soon as she stepped foot on Holby ground she felt that rush, the unexpected. Every day in AAU is different. The ward draws her in like a moth to a flame, but that's the problem. Too close and you get singed. She should just leave.

_Come on Eddi, leave! You don't need this in your life right now. Just stump out that cigarette, turn in the other direction and walk away. How many times has Luc simply abandoned you without a care? It's all going to end in misery anyway, you know that deep down_. And with the last she makes a decision.

Standing she grinds the butt end into the ground, takes one last look at the imposing building that was her home for over a year, the place that holds so many good memories and equally same amount of pain.

Taking a deep breath she begins to walk away from Holby City, but she is halted in her process when she sees Michael running towards the entrance.

"Michael!"

"Eddi! What are you doing out here? I'd have thought you would be in there waiting for Luc."

"Waiting for Luc? What do you mean waiting for Luc? He's only lying in a hospital bed."

"You haven't heard then?"

"Heard what?" her heart quivers and her stomach plummets as a sinking feeling takes over.

"Luc's gone back into theatre."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

People muttering in the distance, a squeaky trolley being pushed around the ward and the steady hum of monitors attached to the ill, all distorted sound. It's the first thing he notices as he comes to. He tries opening his eyes but his eyelids won't budge. He tries again, they begin to flicker.

Eventually he manages to prise them open only to find his vision blurry. A few quick blinks and they begin to clear. He is surprised to find himself back on the ward instead of the private room they placed him earlier.

_My leg!_ He wiggles his feet. _Oh thank god _and he relaxes back into the pillows.

"It's still attached," comes a voice to his right causing Luc to start and jerk his head in that direction.

"Eddi!"

"Shame really, may have ceased your great Houdini acts for good."

"Technically Harry Houdini, born Erik Weisz, was a man who escaped from chains, ropes suspending him from skyscrapers, bundled up in straitjackets under water, so your reference to Houdini would imply that I am trapped in this place, which I can assure you…"

"Oh shut up Luc," and before he can take in what is happening, Eddi leans forward and kisses him directly on the lips.

At first he is stunned, but soon enough he relaxes into the welcoming texture of her soft, velvety lips as the warmth of her mouth overwhelms him. The tender touch of her hand on his cheek only heightens his experience. He finally feels at home.

All too quick Eddi is pulling away and Luc feels empty again. He wants the connection back; he's already been far too long without it.

"What was that for?" he manages to ask once regaining his breath.

"I thought I lost you…again. You really know how to scare a girl."

"Does this mean you'll stay?" The hopeful look in his eyes reminds Eddi of that evening Luc stumbled over his words trying to ask her out on a date.

She turns away.

"Eddi?"

"In the past few hours I've been thinking a lot, going over things constantly in my head, wondering what is the right thing to do. Even now I don't have an answer. The thing is Luc," she begins to play with her fingers. "If I stay I know what will happen."

"Eddi…"

"At first it will be great; we'll get on like the past never took place, but eventually it will creep up on us. Arguments will occur more frequently, it will start to interfere with our work, and then sooner or later one or both of us will mess the whole thing up catastrophically, evoking either one of us to flee."

"You don't know that."

She looks him in the eyes. "Yes I do Luc because that's exactly what happened before. We are creatures of habit. When things get too much we run. You are never in one place for long. You do your research and then you leave. Six to twelve months, that's all. As for me.

"Do you remember what Liam said the day I left? 'Do they know why you're always moving on? Never in a job more than two years?' Because that's all I can handle before it gets too much. Two years in one job then it all falls apart.

"When I told you I left mum and Liam because her drinking habit got too much for me to handle, that's partly true. What I neglected to tell you was that I also left because I didn't want Liam to have to deal with two problem people." She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before continuing. "I've been battling drug addiction for years. But that wasn't all. I also had a liking for alcohol every evening, a couple of glasses each night, wasted at the weekend and each time I battled the hangover with painkillers. When I became a nurse stronger painkillers were easily accessible, but I was still in control, I never let the drugs get the better of me. Moderate doses, enough to keep me on board, but I was only deluding myself into thinking I didn't have a problem because they weren't effecting me at great lengths.

"Then you came along and changed everything. I cut down on my drinking and I had no reason to delve into the drug cabinet each day. You irritated the hell out of me, got under my skin, pushed me to my limits and for some reason, even to this day I don't understand why, but you influenced me to better myself. I became better at my job, at my life.

"But then you were equally capable of destroying all that hard work. If you hadn't of left I wouldn't have met Max Schneider. I wouldn't have been drawn into his world with his laid back attitude. Max reminded me of myself, how I used to be before you came along, except he drew me down to his level.

"I swear Luc I've _never_ been as bad as I was them months back. You leaving and then Max leaving tipped me over the edge. I've never felt so low before and I did the only thing I could think of. I took more Camoxidan, because they made me feel good. But one was not enough. When the drug was wearing off I took more, I didn't want to feel that depressed again. And before I knew it I couldn't stop taking them. I relied on them. If it wasn't alcohol it was the drugs.

"I kept on saying I'll get sorted, I'll get help, but I never did because I always felt I never needed it in the end, I wasn't that far gone. It took me almost dying and Liam pointing out the fact that if I didn't sort myself out I'd end up like mum to finally see sense. I didn't want to be mum, that's why I had to leave. It was something I had to do by myself. I _needed_ to do myself. I didn't want to bring you down with me.

"But then Sacha found me, told me what happened to you and it was then that it hit home. There was something much more important I needed."

Eddi nibbles her lip as she tries to formulate what she's about to say and without a second thought she determinedly wraps one of Luc's hands between hers, a tingle shooting up each of their arms at the contact, and looks him directly in the eye.

"What Liam doesn't understand is that I need _you_. He thought you were the problem and when you think about it you are, but you are also the problem I can't seem to live without. I want to help you through this like you helped me. I know this is going to turn out to be a big mistake, but it is one that I would make again in a heartbeat."

A watery smile is now brightening up Luc's features. His heart is in his eyes. For the first time in a long time he doesn't want to run. He has a purpose here, a reason to stay and she is currently clinging onto his hand.

"Then it's a mistake we'll make together," he says with a tremor in his voice.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

**Two weeks later…**

"I don't know why we couldn't have gone to my campervan. It's a lot closer for a start."

"One, it's too cramp and your bed is not suitable for a recovering patient. Two, if you expect me to live in that thing for another week you better think twice. Once was quite enough for me, thank you very much."

Luc has finally been discharged from the hospital with strict instructions not to set foot in the place, even for his research. Both he and Eddi have been given a leave of absence for a month to enable Luc to recover. However she is allowed to return if he is able to get around comfortably unaided.

And now Eddi is currently juggling to support Luc while simultaneously trying to hold onto a bag containing a few things of his and attempting to pull her front door key out of her trouser pocket. With a bit of manoeuvring they eventually make their way inside.

"Welcome to my abode. Now you'll be okay while I leave you for a minute?"

"Eddi stop fussing. I'm perfectly fine."

"Yeah, of course you are because the pale skin, scarred tissue and dodgy limp are all the craze right now."

"Eddi."

"Okay, okay, I get the hint. Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back," and she walks off down the corridor, his bag in tow, then disappears into a room to the left.

_I can't believe I've finally managed to get him to come to my house, not quite the circumstances I wished for mind you_._ Things are going to change drastically around here and I'm still undecided whether this was in fact a good idea. I guess only time will tell._

The slight creak of the floorboards alerts Eddi to the intruder and she turns around to see Luc attempting to lean casually against the doorframe, which is proving much more difficult with his current injuries.

"Two rooms?" he says with a cheeky grin. "Well at least I got the double bed."

"For your information they are both double." Luc goes to cut in, but Eddi gets there first. "And no you cannot share my bed either."

"Spoil sport," his lips widen and he takes a step into the room, eyes taking in the surroundings.

"It's not like you could do much in your condition anyway," Eddi turns back to his bag and starts unpacking and storing his items in the cupboards.

"You'll be surprised by what my body can do in certain conditions."

"And I think that's enough information about your anatomy thank you."

A gentle chuckle is all she gets in reply.

Looking up she sees Luc staring outside the window, his mind lost on other things. His broad shoulders block the light streaming in through the window. Eddi notices he has lost weight and wonders whether it's simply due to his injuries or could he have been like this ever since she left.

Abandoning his clothes for the time being she begins to make a move over to his side.

"I've forgotten how it feels," Luc abruptly says without turning around. Eddi stops. "A real home, someplace you can't simply take with you whenever you want to up and leave. Bricks, carpeted floor, different shaped rooms. A place you can share with someone and build memories on. A place you can come home to each night knowing that there'll be someone waiting for you when you get in. I've been alone for too long I've forgotten what it feels like to belong somewhere.

"'No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. John Donne's words have never spoken truer than they do to me now.

"I thought I was better off alone, a free spirit, but I can see now that's not the case. No man is an island; no one can live happily on their own, not really. You are part of something greater, even though you may not always realise it.

"I was part of something great once. It was all I ever wanted. I was happy. They were the best two years of my life. We had so much planned, so much left to experience, to look forward to, but our time was cut short.

"Twelve years ago I lost my wife to leukemia. She developed TTP, Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura, a life-threatening blood disease that occurs when small blood clots form suddenly throughout the body. I tried to save her, I tried everything I could think of but it wasn't enough. I failed. I should have noticed sooner. If I had paid attention I could have saved her. It was my fault."

Luc turns to face Eddi and she is shocked to see a lonely tear glide down his cheek.

"So you see Eddi, we are both fearful of losing the things we love."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

After a slightly awkward meal Luc and Eddi then make their way into the living room where he heads straight towards the sofa, while Eddi veers in the direction of the CD rack. A minute later she joins him, relaxing back in the other corner with a glass of wine in one hand. Soft music trickles through the speakers and fills the room.

"Miles Davis? You do surprise me," he says with the raise of the eyebrows.

"I'm full of surprises."

"Aren't you just."

"However, I'm not the only one," she shifts slightly to face him.

"Hmmm?" Luc takes a sip of his water.

"I wouldn't have had you down as the marrying type." He avoids eye contact, fidgets in his seat before placing his glass onto the coffee table. "So, how did you meet her?"

"Eddi, do we have to do this…"

"Luc, you need to open up…"

"I did a couple of weeks ago. I opened up all over the AAU ward. Not a pretty sight, blood everywhere."

Eddi sighs in frustration. Every time she tries to get closer he retaliates with humorous quips.

"I don't understand you Luc. I don't understand how you expect me to get to know you when you say remarks like that. Don't you want me to get to know you, is that it?"

"You may not like what I have to say."

"If you don't give me the opportunity to hear it then we won't know will we? What happened to 'What's life without a few risks?'"

"Throw my words back at me why don't you."

"Well if you won't listen to me you may listen to yourself."

Silence.

"Please Luc."

"Her name was Amy and I met her at a fellow's function," he finally gives in, but nothing more is forth coming.

"And…"

"And she was the most amazing woman I've ever met, well, the only woman really. My whole childhood was spent looking after my mother in some shape or form, didn't really leave much room for socialising. Then when I went to university I kept to myself and focused on my education.

"Meeting Amy opened my eyes to a world of other possibilities," his eyes glaze over, but with what Eddi can't quite figure out.

"And the possibilities are?"

His eyes sweep in her direction and a slow smile creeps onto his face. "The possibilities are for another time."

"Luc, you can't stop th…"

"I can and I will. Now, what other music repertoire lives in your rack?" and he struggles from his seat to take a gander, doing anything he can to change the subject, quickly.

Eddi can only look on in wonder. _Will I ever be able to get to the bottom of him? Probably not_.

Gazing at his back, his muscles shimmering under the material of his top as the low lighting rolls over his body, she shakes her head with a smile. Luc's never ending complexity has her going around in circles, but she wouldn't have him any other way.

…..

_**Sacha and Chrissie's Place**_

The married couple, once managing to get their little boy off to bed, are now having a well-earned rest cuddled up on one end of the sofa while watching a random television programme. However, Sacha's mind is rather preoccupied.

"How do you think Luc is coping?" he asks breaking the atmosphere.

"I'm sure he's settling in nicely," she replies, eyes never once leaving the screen.

"Do you think they have argued yet?"

"No doubt."

"I wonder if Luc has tried escaping back to his caravan yet."

"Oh I'm sure Eddi knows how to handle him. Speaking of handling, I think we should call it a night," and switching off the TV Chrissie stands and heads towards the stairs. "You coming?" she looks over her shoulder with a twinkle in her eyes.

Sacha doesn't need to be told twice. With an impish grin he is swiftly on her heels.

…..

_**Eddi's Place**_

"This is nice," says Eddi.

"The wine?" he furrows his brow.

"No," she chuckles. "This," she indicates the two of them. "You being here, relaxing with me. It's nice."

Instead of getting a verbal reply Luc just stares at her, his brown orbs penetrating her soul and nailing her in place. Her stomach quivers. His eyes are saying many things but not one can Eddi depict. They are a labyrinth of questions and possibilities. A woman can lose herself in those eyes and many a time she has, but not once has she truly understood what they were saying, though somehow she instinctively knew what they wanted.

"Come here," he whispers lifting his arm motioning her forward.

At first she hesitates. "What about your stitches?"

"They'll be fine. I on the other hand…"

With encouragement Eddi soon gives in to temptation and relaxes into the curve of Luc's side and she is immediately overwhelmed by how perfect they fit one another's body. Her heart skips a beat at the sensation.

"Now _this_ is nice," whispers Luc.

Snuggling into the comfort of his warmth and inhaling his earthy scent she couldn't agree more. Closing her eyes a small smile develops as she feels the tender touch of his fingers glide through her hair, soothing her and she floats on a new kind of euphoria.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

The morning sun trickles through a gap in the curtains, alerting the occupant of the room it's a new day. He wonders what it will have in store for him. What new tricks will she unleash to persuade him to convey further information about himself.

Pulling back the covers he stretches the kinks out of his back, mindful of his stitches as he feels them tugging a bit causing irritation to the skin. He reaches for his phone to check the time. Five past seven. Though tempted to sneak into her room and slowly wake her he does the gentlemanly thing and allows her to sleep…for now anyway.

So instead he strolls over to the window, the morning chill hitting his bare legs, and pulls back the curtains to see London life beginning to stir. Over the years he has woken up to many sights. In Africa he crawled out of his tent to find an elephant grazing on a tree a few feet away. When in Switzerland it was mountains covered in snow. In London it's towering blocks of brick and stone blended together creating an ungodly sight for miles around, but saying this, somehow, it feels right. Being in Eddi's flat feels right but he's extremely out of his depth.

Yes, he loved his wife, or at least cared for her a great deal, but never has he been so drawn to another human being as he is with Eddi. There's something about her that keeps calling him back, but he can't explain it. It's simply there and has become a part of him. She enraptured his interest the very first moment. Tell a lie, she irritated him then. All he wanted was to be alone for five minutes, but she had other ideas. No, the moment he knew she was different was when she said, 'But then I'm not a normal nurse'. Since then all they ended up doing is getting under each other's skin.

And now he's here, in her flat, in her care, in her bed…well, technically not _her_ bed, but it'll do…for now. He thought he'd be able to get over her like any other person he's met during his travels, but oh boy he couldn't have been more wrong.

First he hid himself away in his lab until that Imelda woman smoked him out. Then he threw himself into his work on the ward, attempting to not snap at Sacha each time he asked if he wanted to play poker, or go for a drink, or continue playing Playstation games. He was only trying to help after all. However, no matter what he did or any others for that matter, it simply wasn't the same. As each day passed he became more and more reclusive causing him to turn back into the man he was when arriving at Holby.

He didn't want to be that man again. It was a dark and lonely place where no one could hear him. No, he couldn't survive another time like that, not when he's experienced something better.

Luc goes to open a window and breathe in some of the refreshing air when a twinge in his side halts him in his process. Slowly and with a bit of awkwardness he takes off his T-shirt and goes to stand in front of the full length mirror. Rolling the top of his boxer shorts down and gradually peeling back the dressing he is able to see the wound, which in time will form an impressive scar.

Examining the area he finds the perimeter of it to be slightly red, but apart from that everything appears to be on the mend. He can't face taking a look at the one at the top of his leg, not yet. To think he was moments away from death, never getting the chance to see Eddi one last time. He shivers with what could have been. He knows he's lucky and should consider this a second chance, make the most of it why he can, but it is one thing saying that and another to keep to it.

Luc knows that somewhere along the line he will mess up, it is what he does best after all, but this time, if things fall apart, he is not going to give up without a fight.

A clicking noise breaks the silence and his attention snaps towards the door. It can only be one person.

Eddi's head peeks around the corner and she is about to speak when seeing Luc awake, but stops when catching sight of his injury.

At first Luc's self-conscious about his skin being on display, even though she's seen him in this state of undress before, less even, but now is different, he's unsure. Neither of them really knows where they stand.

As if in a trance Eddi makes a move in his direction still dressed in her blue and white polka dot pyjamas and hazy from sleep. With each step she takes his heart quickens. He doesn't know whether to quickly put on his top or simply stand there and attempt to make casual conversation. However, the decision is taken out of his hands when she reaches his side and places a delicate touch near the imperfection. His abdominal muscles twitch at the contact.

Just when he can't take much more of her touch he almost gasps out loud at the sight of her kneeling down in front of him. And then the soft moisture of her lips as she caresses the surrounding skin is nearly enough to provoke a loss of all of his faculties.

The touch is foreign to him, but one he could get used to. It's amazing how one simple touch of her lips consumes him leaving him craving for more. He is behaving totally out of character and it's unnerving.

Her lips do not remain stationary. Achingly slow they glide their way up his torso, occasionally the tip of her tongue making a brief appearance tasting the saltiness of his skin before disappearing back into the cave of her mouth. With each flicker Luc jolts at the texture which sends him spiralling into a deeper state of rapture.

He is burning up, his heart rate ecstatic. His palms begin to sweat and breathing becomes uncontrollable as she explores the contours of his chest to eventually reach his chin. He unconsciously clenches his jaw.

Luc's hands itch with the need, the want, to cling to her waist and draw her close, body to body, heat to heat, but something stops him and so they remain idle at his side. Heavy breathing fills the gap between their mouths, his eyes never leaving her full lips that glisten with moisture, like morning due on a blade of grass. Her hands rest against his firm chest.

"God I've missed this," she whispers, the breath of her words ghost over his chin.

"Mmmmm," is all he is capable of, speech temporarily useless at this stage.

"Luc…" but the rest is left hanging as she instead leans upwards to pepper gentle pecks along his jawline, she can't resist. They've been too long without out each other.

"I have another wound that needs tending to," he speaks without thinking and all too quickly her ministrations stop and she takes a step back breaking all contact. Immediately the temperature cools.

Gazing into her hazel eyes he's not surprised to see daggers aimed at him. Too late does he realise he shouldn't have said such a tactless comment. In other circumstances he wouldn't have dreamt of thinking such a thing let alone saying it, but when he's around her he loses all rational thought.

"You sure know how to spoil the moment Luc," she spits and with one last glare she storms out of the room, making sure to slam the door behind her for good measure.

"Great," he says into the empty room, closing his eyes and shaking his head, mentally berating himself. "That went well."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Twenty minutes later Luc exits his temporary room, feeling guilty about his earlier comment. He didn't mean it, it wasn't supposed to come out like that, but she simply overwhelmed him and his brain stopped connecting with his mouth. He had no filter.

Clinking and clonking alerts him in the direction of Eddi and cautiously he makes his way into the kitchen. Stepping into the room he almost gets a face full of wet cloth. He manages to avoid it just in time but it doesn't miss him completely and skims off his shoulder.

"I know you didn't like what I said earlier, but was there really any need for that?" he smiles trying to ease the atmosphere.

Now fully dressed in casual jeans and baggy shirt, she spins around from doing the washing up in the sink to face a smirking Luc.

"For your information, I wasn't aiming at you but rather towards the basket," he looks down to his right to see a washing up basket and the cloth that did actually end up there. "But it would serve you right if I had. You needed to cool off," and with that she turns her back on him to continue her previous actions.

"Eddi, you're overreacting," he heads towards her and leans against the worktop facing her, arms crossed across his chest, the T-shirt emphasising his muscular form.

Her eyes remain transfixed on the utensils in the sink, determination in every inch of her facial features, trying not to look at him. But he spots it. The little lift of the corner of her mouth and a certain twinkle lights up her eyes.

"Come on Eddi," he nudges her shoulder. "You know I didn't mean it. Let me make it up."

"Fine. You can start by drying them," and she points to a couple of pots and pans, the odd cup and an assortment of cutlery.

"Do you ever wash up? There's enough here to cover a week."

"If you don't watch it you'll get another cloth thrown at you."

"Okay, okay," he holds up his hands, then turns to do as she bids. Still he can't avoid giving her a few sideway glances for good measure. "You know something; you're rather attractive when you're angry."

And just like that the mood drops like a ton of bricks. "Don't," she snaps.

"Now what have I done?"

"Just don't Luc…"

"But I don't understand…"

"Max said that to me when he was off his face on Comoxidan," her hands pause in the water.

Luc shuffles uncomfortably on the spot.

"I still don't understand what you saw in him."

Eddi looks directly into his eyes, pain shimmering in her pupils. "Everything you weren't."

And for the first time her behaviour slots into place like a light bulb going off in his head. Guilt washes throughout his body knowing he's the cause.

Placing the drying up aside he turns to face her and shuffles that little bit closer breaching the gap.

"Eddi," he reaches out a hand to cup her rosy cheek coming to a decision. Like someone once told him 'It's now or never'. "Eddi, I-I'm so sorry, for everything. You do know I didn't hurt you intentionally. I honestly thought it was for the best. When I feel myself becoming attached that's what I do. I run, but all I end up doing really is running from myself." He licks his dry lips and Eddi can't help but follow the movement. "The thing is Eddi," his other hand caresses her other cheek, bringing her eyes up to look at his. "I…" his chest rises and falls more rapidly. "I c-can't run anymore because the thing I'm looking for is standing in front of me. If the past year has taught me anything it is to grab hold of the things that make you feel alive. _You _are the one who breathes life into me and makes me fight for the things I believe in and there's nothing I believe in more than us." He swallows deeply. "Eddi, I-I…I-I…"

"I love you Luc," she cuts in causing him to chuckle.

"You never did let me finish a sentence," and he finally gives in to that urge.

Brushing the hair out of her face he tilts her head up and leans down to capture her lips in his. The electricity sparks forgotten feelings and warmth spreads throughout their bodies, blood runs riot through their veins edging them on and the kiss deepens. Carnal lust cascades around them and they hunger for the nectar they know they will find.

But before it can get out of hand, considering Luc's stamina isn't quite up to par right now, he pulls away and envelopes her in the biggest hug instead, inhaling her sent.

"I love you Eddi," he finally manages to whisper in her ear and then kisses her forehead.

It comforts her, it comforts him.

They have finally found their home.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Eddi and Luc lay entwined stretched out on the sofa; she snuggled up to his uninjured side with his arm wrapped around her as they relax listening to the pitter-patter of the rain against the window. The morning started off so promising and now this, so what better way to spend a lousy afternoon than cuddled up dozing in the warmth.

Luc's got his eyes closed and he is enjoying the ministrations from Eddi as she absently runs her fingers up and down his clad chest. A little smile lifts the corners of his mouth as he finds a bare bit of skin and delicately uses his index finger to create lazy circles on her hipbone. With her head against his chest she can hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, soothing her and she sighs settling further into his embrace.

"So how many relationships have you been in Luc?" she asks breaking the silence.

His eyes flicker open and he lays staring up at the ceiling.

"Including my marriage and you? Four."

She sits up to stare down at him, his arm falls but he retains contact by placing his hand on her thigh.

"Four? Is that all?"

"Well if you haven't noticed I'm not exactly the best at conveying emotion. I'm naturally a recluse."

"Yeah, I think I worked that one out for myself what with you holing yourself up in your lab and disappearing without a word. Are you a commitment phobe?"

"I wouldn't say that considering I was married. I'd say I'm weary of getting attached. I gave my heart once only for it to be destroyed. Let's say I learn from experience."

"So what did you learn from your other relationships? When were they? How long did they last?"

"Nosey aren't you!" he smiles up at her.

"Only curious to know what makes you tic and what not to do to cause you to run."

"Just being you is enough for me."

"But you ran from that."

"And I came back."

"Only because Sacha called you."

"I would have come back eventually Sacha just kicked me into gear that's all."

"Hmmmm. So what about the other two relationships?"

"What about them?"

"Luc!"

"Okay, okay. The first ever relationship I had was when I was eighteen…"

"Eighteen!"

"Well looking after my mother was a full time job, didn't exactly leave much room for meeting girls. Kind of a romantic kill joy, you know. As I was saying, I was eighteen when I entered my first relationship. My friend's sister set us up which was rather odd really considering I never met her."

"You never met the girl you dated or you never met your friend's sister?"

"Never met my friend's sister of course. I know I'm recluse but not physically meeting my girlfriend is pretty ridiculous even by my standards!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she chuckles. "Please, carry on."

"Anyway, it didn't exactly last that long, just over a month."

"What did you do?"

"What makes you think _I_ did anything?" Eddi simply raises her eyebrows at him in that all knowing way. "I asked if I could take some of her blood."

"You what!"

"I was a young aspiring doctor! What did you expect me to do? I was fascinated by blood!"

"Still, you don't go and ask your girlfriend for a sample!"

"I asked you and you accepted."

"We weren't even dating, plus you tricked me. I thought you were going to show me a surprise."

"Well I did didn't I? You weren't expecting me take your blood and as I recall you got a much more satisfying surprise instead."

"You never did take my blood."

"No, but I got to take something else," he smirks.

And a look is shared between the two. No words are needed, but before being drawn into his eyes she speaks.

"A-and what about your other relationship?"

"The other was when I was nineteen and this time it was an older woman."

"_How_ old and how did you meet _her_?" she says raising her eyebrows.

"She was thirty-one and I met her at a summer solstice at Stonehenge."

"You were at a…no actually I can see you at a spiritual gathering…"

"Actually my friend dragged me to it."

"But you enjoyed it? Don't try and deny it!"

"Fine, fine, I did."

"And that's a pretty big age gap for a nineteen year old."

"I was attracted to her ease and friendliness. She also only looked twenty-three."

"Lucky for some, must be the years rolling around in the mud. Good for your skin apparently. So what happened with her?"

"Ah, for once I had a decent reason to run," he sits up warming to the subject.

"This has got to be good," even Eddi leans forward.

"Well, I'm all for spiritual healing and things, everyone to their own, but once she found out I had a thing about blood she took it a step too far. She wanted a sample of my blood and I thought I found a kindred spirit. However, when she said she wanted to drink it because it would bind our souls, well I had to get out of there and unfortunately at the time I was wearing only a bin bag, don't ask. So there was me running through the street in broad daylight…what are you laughing at?"

Eddi couldn't retain her amusement and as soon as he mentioned himself legging it away in a bin bag, well, she couldn't hold it in any longer otherwise she'd physically combust. Now she's clutching her side and has tears rolling down her cheek. It's an image she will not be able to get out of her head for a long while.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Two twenty-five in the morning and Eddi was woken by some outside noise. Throat dry she decides to get a glass of water. Dragging herself out of bed still half asleep, she makes her way out into the hallway when she notices a dim light appearing underneath Luc's door.

_What is he still doing up? Unless he's fallen asleep with it on_.

Instead of going in she carries on her journey into the kitchen to get her glass of water.

Ten minutes later she is making her way back to her bedroom and sees that his light is still on, so quietly as possible she opens the door slowly and peers into the room to see Luc lying on the bed reading her Jane Eyre novel.

_I forgot I had that_.

Coming to a decision she takes a step into the room and catching her out of the corner of his eye he lowers the book to one side and smiles at her.

"Hi," he says. "What are you still doing up?"

"I was going to ask you the same. You fancy yourself as a bit of a Mr Rochester then?"

"Huh?"

"You're reading Jane Eyre."

"Oh this," he picks the book back up. "I couldn't sleep, too much of a nocturnal creature me. Thought I'd try reading something considering I can't exactly work in my lab."

"From what I've heard you've spent enough time in your lab as it is already."

"Yes, well, research won't happen by itself…"

"And you irritated a patient, but then again that's nothing new."

"She was the one that wasn't cooperating."

"You mean she wouldn't play nice and be your guinea pig."

"I was trying to do her a favour…"

"And yourself in the process."

"If that were the case it would make both our lives more productive. Anyway," he gazes down at the book absently fiddling with the pages. "It's neither here nor there as she's consented to the trial."

"Yes, once Sacha persuaded her that no animals will be harmed."

"Okay, okay, so my social etiquette hasn't improved since your leaving, but I was in urgent need of a volunteer otherwise my research programme would have been liquefied. No volunteers no grant."

"That's another thing," Eddi makes her way over to sit on the edge of the bed. "I never knew you spoke French."

"Oh oui ma belle, je suis l'homme qui vaut mille mots dans une gracieuseté mille langues de fond que vous aimez instruite de bouder si souvent."

"And what's that in layman's terms?" Eddi smiles.

"It means in rough translation 'Yes my fair lady, I'm the man who speaks a thousand words in a thousand languages courtesy of that educated background you like to snub so often."

"Really! And yet you are still unable to communicate basic English to your patients."

"Alright, alright I get the hint. I need to improve my social skills. Can we drop with the sarcastic jibes now I don't think my ego can take any more of your bashing?"

"As long as you scoot over so I can get in."

Eddi starts shuffling about drawing back the covers. Luc suddenly looks uncomfortable at the turn of events.

"Erm, why?" but he moves over regardless. Then again he appears to not have much option considering she has already made herself comfortable.

"Because I'm cold and tired."

"Y-you mean you want to sleep in here, with me?"

"You have a problem with that?" she pierces him with a stare.

"No…"

"Good," and before he knows it she has laid down and wrapped herself in the duvet, reaches to turn off the light and the room descends into darkness. Luc remains upright, too baffled by the sudden turn of events.

Silence settles in the air around them and only their mingled breathing can be heard. Luc is torn in what to do. Half of his brain is screaming to lie down beside her and wanting to feel the warmth of her body close to his. The other is petrified he'll do something stupid.

"Luc?" her voice breaks through his jumbled brain.

"Yes?"

"Why did you come back?"

"I was needed."

Silence.

"Luc?"

"Yes?"

"I'm scared."

"I'm scared too."

"Hold me."

He needs no further encouragement and slides down under the duvet sneaking an arm around her waist the other resting on the pillow allowing his hand to play with her hair. She snuggles back into his chest, comforted by the presence of his drumming heart, and holds tightly onto his muscular forearm, the hairs tickling her delicate skin.

He's her lifeline, she's his anchor.

"Night Luc."

A smile relaxes his features as the love for her threatens to shine through. Right now nothing could be more perfect. He's at last got her back in his arms, their own little cocoon and he's determined nothing will tear them apart, not if he can help it.

"Night Eddi," and after a kiss to her forehead, he lowers his head onto the pillow and allows sleep to consume his body in the comfort of knowing he's not alone.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Eight in the morning and Luc is already dressed and pottering around the place looking for something to do and just generally being nosey. He left Eddi still in bed. It was awkward to climb over her but thankfully she's a heavy sleeper. The only time she stirred, but didn't wake, was when a small expletive left his mouth as the stitches pulled at his leg.

Considering how organised and tidy she kept things running on AAU, her flat was the complete opposite. Nothing was in its place. There are more books piled up on the floor than on the shelves. Some CDs litter the floor around her DVD player, cover nowhere in sight. A couple of bras and knickers hang on the radiator, while on the chair in the corner of her dining room appears to be a month's worth of ironing towered higher than the chair itself and leaning precariously close to the right. She has her very own Leaning Tower of Pisa.

She has very few photos dotted around. The rooms mainly consist of furniture and the odd ornament or two. There's hardly anything of sentimental value. Of course the place has her personal touch; the disorganised chaos demonstrates that, but there's nothing to signify memories.

As he walks into the living room though, one picture stands out. It's not obvious to a viewer's eye, but then again he doesn't look for the obvious. There hiding behind an ornament of a dog is a medium sized picture frame containing a photograph of three people - a woman, a girl and a younger boy.

At first he is unable to recognise them, but as he stares into the eyes of the smiling young girl he is shocked to discover that those are the same eyes belonging to the woman he has come to know very intimately.

_Eddi!_

The little girl in this picture has long light brown hair going all the way down to her waist. The smile is the brightest and widest he's ever seen. She's wearing blue shorts and a pink crop top. It's a picturesque image of innocence. Peaking over her shoulder is the little boy pulling a funny face, all brown, floppy hair and lanky body. _This has got to be Liam_. And to the right of them is a woman, probably no older than late twenties early thirties, straight dirty blonde hair, white glistening teeth and you can tell she is laughing into the camera and to whoever is behind it.

Here is a picture that represents everything good about a family, which makes it harder for Luc to believe that it's Eddi's. It gets him wondering when did things actually start to fall apart and why?

Replacing the picture he sets off wandering around the rest of the room. There's nothing but more books and CDs in random places. She was right about liking Stephen King, she has half a bookcase dedicated to his work.

He's about to look away when a familiar title catches his eye. It's out of place midst the rest, how could he _not_ spot it. Amongst the Stephen King's and Catherine Cookson's is one Corey Eagles 'Live Every Day'.

"I can't believe she kept it," he chuckles to himself.

Pulling it out he settles down to read. He never tiers of this book.

…..

The motorway is always the same this time of day. Gridlocked full of vehicles trying to get from A to B as quickly as possible, but there is always something on the roads that will hinder their process, be it an accident to typical road works who usually like to present themselves at the most inopportune time.

People become frustrated, children irritated and honking of car horns get increasingly louder as the standstill increases. And then there will be that one person who has a total disregard for the presence of other road uses and ends up doing as they please. This is the case for one woman who is at this precise moment attempting to struggle out of a car, cigarette perched on her lips and waving half a bottle of Jack Daniels in the air. Some people look on in amusement while others in horror. However, the man in the driving seat of the car she recently vacated is embarrassed, but otherwise unfazed. It's like he is used to such vulgar displays in public and he has learnt to take it in his stride, he's tried everything else with no success.

"Mum! Get back in the car!"

"Why-hic, wh-when-hic we are…are n-not-hic-bl-blo-bloody goin' anywh-where," she slurs.

"Everyone is looking at you."

"Wh-what do I c-care? It's n-hic-not like I'll ev-hic-ever see them a-again."

"Mum! Just get back in this car now!"

"Oh sh-ut up!" but she gets back in regardless, well, falls in and slams the door shut ending the spectacle. "Y-you are so-unding hic m-more and more l-l-like your-hic s-hic-ister each-d-ay. A-always na-nagging."

"You haven't seen her in years so why now?"

"I w-want to s-hic-ee my b-baby girl, wh-what's so wr-hic-ong with that?"

"She's not going to like it," he says more to himself shaking his head. "Not one bit."

"I d-don't c-hic-care what she wants. I'm g-going to see hic Eddi and yo-hic-ur not go-going to st-hic-op me!"


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Half ten and Eddi is finally up and ready and is currently looking for her house mate. It didn't take long to find him relaxing in the corner chair, eyes fixed on the pages of his book. So consumed in it he doesn't even notice Eddi gazing at him from her perch on the arm of the chair.

"I see you've found it then."

Gazing over the top of the book he smiles. "And you kept it. I thought you'd throw it away or give it to charity."

"If you thought that why did you leave it for me? Actually, why _did_ you leave it behind?"

"I thought by leaving it you'll be able to get an insight into the way I am, because I can relate to some of what he says and has experienced. In a way it became my Bible. I wanted to live every day, embrace each moment and that's why I never stay in one place for long. Constantly on the move, always meeting new people but never getting to know them. I never had the time or the patience to.

"But then again I never thought I'd meet a woman like you who had the power to make me stop and think what I want for my life. Did I want to go exploring new things when I finally found something worth staying for? I guess me sitting here answers that question. So you see, you change your own life, I made a decision. This book," he picks it up. "Only gave me ideas, possibilities of what could be achievable when you don't have ties. It never told me how sharing your life would be an adventure itself. Why go looking for adventure when I can have one here?"

A warm glow infuses the insides of Eddi and works its way to the tips of her toes. She feels like a giddy teenager in her first throes of love.

"Sometimes Luc you can say the sweetest of things."

"So did you broaden your intellect and read it?"

"And then you ruin the moment by saying something like that," she sighs. _He will never change_.

"So?"

"No I never did get around to reading it."

"Ah well, you can always borrow it. In fact, you may have it. I have no use for it anymore."

"I thought it was your 'Bible'."

"Once upon time it may have been, but it's time to hang up my spurs. I've done all the exploring I want to, there's another voyage I need to experience, one with a lifelong investment."

The look in his eyes catches her breath. His pupils dilate and his breathing increases. The meaning of his words so clear she's unsure how to respond. She wanted this, been thinking about what ifs and what might have been, but now it's kind of happening she's afraid of where to go from here. If she doesn't say something now he may start getting doubts.

"I-I guess that means you'll need my key back."

"I'm sure that will come in very handy at times."

"This is actually happening isn't it?"

"Take that leap of faith. You have my book, you have me and…"

"Hold on a second," she cuts in. "I have another thing that belongs to you," and off she goes in the direction of her bedroom, before Luc can comprehend what is happening. One minute he's baring his soul, the next she disappears!

And then the doorbell rings.

"Could you get that Luc?" Eddi shouts from her bedroom.

With a grunt he leaves the comfort of his chair to do as she bids. As he makes his way towards the door he can hear disgruntled muttering on the other side and something about the sharp, snappy voice of one of them is making him apprehensive in opening it.

After taking a deep breath he reaches out and pulls the door open.

"Eddiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" the woman screeches, arms wide open in preparation for a hug, but before she could take a step towards him Luc immediately slams the door in her face.

"Who on Earth was that?" Eddi asks peeping out of her bedroom.

"A screaming banshee."

"Oh come on Luc," she stops what she is doing and makes her way over to him. "Move out the way," and numbly he is pushed to one side.

She re-opens the door but before she gets the chance to greet her visitor she gets the same reaction.

"Eddiiiiiiiiiii!" and like before the door is once again shut swiftly on the woman's face.

"Who was that?"

"Liam."

"_That_ was Liam?" Luc looks from Eddi to the door then back again. "He's changed."

"No. Liam is also out there."

"So who's the screeching banshee?"

She gazes up at Luc sceptically. "It's my mother."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

"What do you think you are doing bringing mum here?" asks Eddi, who now stands in the kitchen with Liam after practically dragging him through the door while leaving Luc at the mercy of her drunken mother.

"She asked to come Ed, what was I supposed to do?"

"Say no! Couldn't you have stopped her?"

"Come on Ed, you know it's not as easy as that. It's hard to tell her what to do when she's in that state."

"Can't you take her back? This isn't the best time."

"Why? Are we interrupting something? I don't know why you're back with him anyway, not after all he's put you through."

"It's not like that Liam, you don't understand."

"That's about right. I don't understand half the things you do!"

…..

_**Meanwhile in the living room…**_

Luc is standing rather uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets behind the sofa, while their mother is swaying unsteadily a few feet away, glugging back more whiskey after every sentence or two.

"You hic w-want some?" she asks shoving the bottle in his direction.

"I think you've drunken enough for both of us," and he moves to the defensive by crossing his arms over his chest as he looks down on the intruder.

"Ah, y-you don't kn-hic-ow what you're mis-missing," and she knocks back another mouthful.

"Well you're certainly not missing a chronic case of liver disease."

"Lo-losen up, have hic s-some. You're l-looking a bit hic bit stiff," she says while running a hand down his torso causing Luc to stiffen further and take a step back.

"I'm particularly attached to my liver and I'd like to keep it that way thank you."

"You're no f-fun," and the bottle goes straight to her lips once more.

….

_**In the kitchen…**_

"Why are you still with him Eddi?"

"He needs my help."

"And where were you when _I _needed your help ay? Where were you when mum needed your help? Nowhere, that's where! But you are willing to be with a man who you have known what, about a year? And for half of that time you hated the man! We're blood Eddi. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"What do you take me for Liam? Of course I care!"

"Funny way of showing it."

"But I had to escape, she was killing me, I had no choice. If I wanted the chance to fulfil my potential I needed to leave."

"And where has that got you Eddi? And what about my dreams, _my_ wishes? Did you even stop to consider them? No!"

"If I had stayed I wouldn't be standing here now, but instead laying in a grave somewhere."

"I would have helped you!"

"Like Luc helped me? It's something I needed to do on my own in the end. I got myself into the mess I needed to get myself out of it."

"And right back into Luc's arms!"

"Doesn't that tell you something? Luc is what I needed, _is_ what I need. I don't want to lose him again and, not now I've just found him."

Their heated conversation is broken as Luc peaks around the corner, sheer fear tormenting his features.

"Eddi, can you get your mother under control. She has consumed the whiskey and has now moved on to consuming me!"


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Mum, leave Luc alone," Eddi says as she walks back into the room, Liam hot on her heels.

"I don't kn-know what you see i-in him, he's no fun…"

"Just because he doesn't drink doesn't mean he's no fun."

"…and didn't your d-ad hic tell you nev-never to trust a-a-a tee-tee-totaller!"

"What is it with you and your family and alcohol?" Luc says to no one in particular. Eddi gives him a dirty glare.

"J-just 'cos we kn-know how to have f-fun…"

"I have fun; I just go about it without looking like an extra from a horror movie."

"Luc," Eddi looks at him sternly.

"What?"

"You're not helping matters."

"When did he ever help," mumbles Liam, however Eddi catches it and turns on him.

"Liam!"

"What's with the hostility all of a sudden?" Luc asks him.

"…in-instead o-o-o-of walk-walk-hic-ing," their mother carries on regardless, unaware of what's brewing, "a-around with a stick up hic my arse!"

"Liam was right; you really do sound like your mother Eddi!"

"Shut up Luc!" the siblings retaliate simultaneously.

"N-now, wh-where hic can I f-find more hic whiskey," and she stumbles about, just managing to miss knocking into Luc as she passes him on her way to the cupboards.

"Come on mum," Liam steps in trying to steer her away from the cupboard but she shrugs him off.

"Get off me L-liam. Now wh-where…ah hah!" she screeches in achievement and pulls out a full bottle of whiskey.

"Mum, stop it," Eddi goes to make a grab for the bottle wherein a tug of war ensues. "Mum! Just give me the bottle."

"No! Stop being a hic a party po-pooper!"

"This is ridiculous," Luc says taking a step forward. "Eddi, just let go."

"No, she needs to stop. I had to, now she does!"

"You're right, but this isn't the way to go about it."

"Then do something about Luc instead of just standing the-argh!" she screams as her mother loses grip on the bottle and stumbles backwards, while Eddi goes crashing into Luc bringing them both tumbling to the floor landing at an awkward angle.

The bottle however, is remarkably unscratched and remains in Eddi's hands.

Slowly she places it to one side and gets to her feet, mindful of not stepping on Luc in the process.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"Eddi!" gasps Liam. "You're bleeding!" and following the direction of his finger she looks down to see small dots of blood on her top.

Frowning, she lifts it up to find her skin still intact.

"It's not me," but when she gazes down at Luc she sees him clutching his abdomen. "Luc, move your hand."

"I'm perfectly fine Ed…"

"I said move your hand Luc!" and she yanks it away, her eyes widening at the sight.

Crimson blood has soaked through his shirt and caused red splotches to appear. Tenderly lifting up his top she sees a couple of stitches have been torn and his wound marginally re-opened.

"Come on, we need to get you to the hospital."

"I'm fine Eddi…"

"For once in your life just listen to me. We need to get you re-stitched before it becomes infected."

"Okay, okay," and placing an arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist, together they manage to right themselves.

"Eddi, you can't leave me here with mum!" Liam whines as he looks over to see his mother contentedly downing the fresh bottle of whiskey as she sits on the floor slumped back against the cupboard.

"Don't worry, she'll pass out soon. And anyway, you brought her here, _you_ can sort her out." With those final words she helps Luc make his way out of the door and over to Holby.

"Do y-you want some?" a drunken slur comes from behind.

Turning around from the closed door, Liam looks down at his pathetic excuse for a mother.

"No mum, I don't want any." Walking over to her side he gradually accomplishes to make her stand, albeit unsteadily, and she finally lets go of the bottle she latched on to. "Let's get you to bed."


End file.
